Monday, October 17, 2011

Just Breathe

The only way I can describe this last 6 months is a BLUR.  I have been hormonal.  I have been angry for no reason.  I have been stressed out about things I have absolutely no control over.  I feel like a child who has been thrown in a pool without her floaties on.  I have been thrashing and kicking.  I have been screaming and choking and gasping for air when it hits me: Put your feet down you big dummy, you're in the shallow end.  That is the message God has been trying to send me for some time now.  I'm ready to listen.  Brian and I spent a whole day the weekend before last with the couples in our life group.  We had some deep discussions and are ready to hit the play button on where we want our lives to MOVE. We made a mission statement for our family and a list of goals we want to accomplish.  Then, we all drove to a farm out in the country for the rest of the day.  I soaked in the sun and cherished the calm. 

I carved a pumpkin and took on minute to win it challenges just for FUN. 
We sang in front of a bonfire and praised the God who has control over all things and then we made my favorite snack of all times SMORES. Since then, we have joined AND went to the gym.  We have tried to worry less and trust God more.  We are praying, loving, and LIVING. 

“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.”
Mother Teresa

PS. Keep Tyler in your prayers.  We go to Riley next Friday for the MRI and appt with the neurosurgeon to see if she wants to do surgery on his spine.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, Autumn. It has been 21 months for me, and I STILL have days like you described...I don't think there is anything wrong with acknowledging or expressing those emotions when you have them. Releasing the tension and fears allow you to have room you said...breathe. It does all work out in the end; Tyler is an amazing boy and will continue to bring you great joy. Lots of luck with the upcoming tests and keep smiling; you have a beautiful family! Hugs!